We're expecting.....

Ok, so this is going to be a different kind of post.  I'm starting this on September 11.  We wanted to wait until we told most of our families before telling the world, but I want to keep track of what's going on so this post will include several dates.  

We have some exciting news to share.  We found out a couple of days ago that we're having a  BABY!!!!!   Even writing that feels so odd to me.  I still haven't quite wrapped my brain around the fact that I'm pregnant.  ME! PREGNANT!!!!!  Even though we always planned to have children I guess I just never thought about what it would be like to be pregnant.  It's amazing and terrifying all at the same time.  I've been thinking of nothing else since that little test strip flashed  "pregnant".   I kind of "knew" for about a week, but I still wasn't totally prepared to have it confirmed.  My best calculation puts the birth sometime around next May.

As unsacred as it sounds, I think one of my first thoughts was "Crap!  Why didn't I get serious about losing some weight before this?".  I wonder how many women think that??  Then as dumb as it sounds I didn't know what to eat.  No soft cheese, uncooked eggs, undercooked meat, sushi (not a problem for me).....and the list goes on.  It immediately changed the way I thought about what I ate.  I was acutely aware that I was not just putting food in my body, but that I was responsible for the nutrition that this little life needed. 

I have so many questions about pregnancy in general, but also about having a baby in Germany, so I've been reading just about everything I can online.  I really wish I was near Mom and Kristy so I could share the experience and be with someone who's been through it before.  It's hard to be so far away at this point in my life.

For awhile now I've needed to get to the doctor, but have been ignoring it because I wasn't looking forward to that experience here in Germany.  Now, I have no choice and need to schedule an appointment.  That's a whole other consideration.  Being in a foreign country makes me a little nervous because they do things so differently here.  Without going into too many details I'll just say that (from what I've heard) the German's don't have an issue with modestly....or lack of modesty.  I'm nervous to go to the doctor, but I've heard that having a baby in Germany is a great experience.  I tend to think they don't rush the process and schedule births like doctors in the States do.  I've heard it's normal to stay in the hospital for 1-2 weeks after having the baby.  I guess I'll find out.

 

9/12/08                                                                                                                       Sam picked me up at lunchtime and we went to an OB/GYN in our town to see about getting an appointment.  Now, more than ever, I just wish I was home in the states and didn't have to deal with having a baby in a foreign country.  None of the receptionists spoke English, so Sam set up the appointment.  The earliest appointment they have is on the 25th.  I expected to be told to start pre-natal vitamins or to get in quickly for a checkup, but they didn't seem in any rush.  I left there in tears.  It all feels a little overwhelming right now.  It's so different here.  I've never had a baby in the states either, but at least there I would know more what to expect, would be able to understand what people are saying, be able to ask questions, etc.  It all just scares me at this point.  I've been trying to read up about it online too and it seems the more I read the more I realize how different things are here.  I'd like to talk to someone who's had a baby here.  I wish we could use the Health Clinic on post, but they refer everyone out, so that's not even an option. At this point I feel like my hands are tied behind my back and I don't have a real say in my health.  It's difficult not being able to communicate when it MY health that's being discussed. I'm just hoping I feel differently once I've been to the doctor.

 

9/14/08

I really haven't had much morning sickness yet, but I have a general feeling of nausea.  I've found that I try to snack on something every couple of hours to keep something in my stomach.  This morning we were on our way to church and I wasn't feeling too good.  I realized it had been about 3 hours since breakfast, so we stopped at the Shoppette for some crackers.  I'll have to learn to keep something with me.  I'm hoping not to get to the point of throwing up.  I must say that a positive side effect of my pregnant self is that I have no sweet tooth.  For me that's very unusual, but I'm enjoying it.  Just the thought of candy or sweets kind of turns my stomach.  I hope it stays that way for a long time to come.

  Sam's parents fly in on Wednesday so we've spent this weekend doing some deeper cleaning.  Bless Sam's heart - he cleaned ALL of the windows yesterday.  Inside and out.  It took him about 6 hours in all.  They look great though and I so appreciated him doing that.  Today I'm just going to finish vacuuming and mopping the floors.  I know once the week starts I won't have much time for that.

 

9/21/08

As of yesterday I am 8 weeks along.  I can't say I've experienced "morning sickness" yet, but seem to instead have "all-day sickness".  I have absolutely no appetite and any kind of food turns my stomach.  Yesterday Sam and I drove up to Ramstein to go to the bazaar there.  I was not feeling well and was so tired so I slept all the way there and back.  It was a really nice bazaar. I love being on a large American base.  It felt like a little America.  

This morning has been the worst day yet as far as feeling poorly.  This morning we were up getting ready for church.  I passed out in the shower.  I didn't feel well and was trying to get done so I could lay back down and the next thing I knew Sam was helping me up off the floor.  I was so sick so Sam helped me, dripping wet, climb back into bed.  Needless to say we didn't make it to church.  I've felt terrible today and all I've wanted to do is sleep.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this week at work.  It's a difficult time to take sick leave because this is my last week at CPAC then next week is my first back at NAF.  It's not really the most opportune time to be out sick. 

 

9/28/08

Feeling sick CONSTANTLY is starting to wear on me.  Thankfully I haven't  been throwing up, but the last couple of mornings I was very close to it.  I hope that's not next.  As of yesterday I was 9 weeks along.  Another month and I'll be past the 1st trimester - I'm hoping the nausea lessens at that time. 

I'm not used to feeling so fragile.   I'm usually a pretty healthy person, but being pregnant is a different story.  I feel weak and sick most of the time.  Just this morning Mom told me "That's what makes this your baby".  I guess she's right.  At this point though I still don't really grasp the reality that we're having a baby.  Sam and I just shake our heads because neither one of us is sure what to think.  Of course we're happy, but probably a bit petrified too - to be honest. 

Sam and his parents went to Garmisch over the weekend. I would have loved to go, but they won't be back until tomorrow evening and I have to start with NAF in the morning.  I sure have missed my husband though.  It's amazing how we get so used to having each other around and even take each other for granted, but when he's not here I feel a part of me is gone.  I'll be glad when they come back tomorrow. 

Oh, also I scheduled an appointment with a different doctor.  I've been talking to a lady that works with Sam.  She had a baby here last year and is expecting again.  She's been a great source of information.  I decided to go with the doctor she sees.  We have an appointment set for Oct. 6th.  I think it'll be good to have the appointment and get some of my questions answered.  Well, I need to get to bed.  I'm starting back with NAF in the morning and I seem to need more sleep these days....for whatever reason :)